The Key to Success is to Learn from our Failures

The following blog post is from Brother James McKeown, Region H Youth Representative and PMC of Friendship-Bray Chapter.
Failure; it isn’t fun, but it is something that is a part of life. We constantly have to deal with it in school, sports, personal life, and sometimes even in DeMolay. No one’s perfect, which is why I'm sure we've all experienced failure at least once or twice in our lives. People might think it's a way of saying that you didn't succeed, but I see failure as an experience gained. An experience, good or bad, can be used as experiences for your benefit. Quitting is the only true way to fail at something. I’m going to tell you a few stories of failure that happened to me.

The first story happens over the span of four years. I played basketball for my grade school from 5th grade to 8th grade. Over those four years, I was never on the best team, despite my school having one of the best basketball programs in the Catholic School League. I would always be on the “B” team, due to my lack of skills, but that didn’t stop my team from winning. Every one of those four years, my team would be top three in the league, putting us in good spots for the playoffs. We fought hard each year through the playoffs to make the championship and made it to the big dance all four years! In true Buffalo Bills fashion, we lost the championship four straight years. Looking back at this makes me ask the question, "why?" "Why couldn’t we just win one of those championship games?" "Why couldn’t I step up and do more for my team?" I’m never going to get an answer to these questions. The reason I ask these questions is because they are part of the experience I gained through losing. This experience helped me realize some important things in life. The first thing that comes to mind is that "life is so unfair." We have all heard, or even used this phrase. The only time we think about "life being unfair" is when it smacks us in the face. I truly believe that my team and I never failed. It taught my team and I that winning isn’t everything, that life still goes on after a loss. Losing taught us to keep moving forward and use the loss as motivation to better yourself.   

The second story is about a failure that I experienced in DeMolay. It was September 2017, and happened at the Mid Atlantic Tournament of Champions, which we know better as MATOC. During MATOC, I was set to perform the Magnificent Seven. I should have taken a few lessons from the Boy Scouts prepared better.I was not ready to perform the Magnificent Seven and I was going into this competition knowing that it will not be pretty. The lack of confidence showed, because I got 10 out of a possible score of 1000. I almost gave up halfway through the competition. Quite frankly, I never wanted to do ritual again. This experience of failure was hard to come to terms with, but it also taught me a few key lessons in life. It is still teaching me a lesson, which I still am learning to this day, and that is procrastination is bad. I really wasn’t motivated to learn my part for MATOC and that is the main reason why I procrastinated until the final few days to learn my part. Another lesson it taught me is to be confident. Being confident can make a major difference in one's performance. Looking back at this year's MATOC, I am glad I went. Without this experience of failure, I wouldn’t be learning these key lessons that will help me down the path of life. This experience helps me strive to do better in ritual, because now I know the embarrassment of doing poorly while other people are judging you. Will I do better in ritual now? I don’t know the answer to that question. All I know is that I will strive to do better and try to be the best ritualist I can be. 

Going into writing this blog post, I wanted to share experiences to help combat failure, but I realized that combating failure just comes naturally. We need failures in order to succeed. We need to know the bitterness taste of defeat before tasting the sweetness of victory. I’m glad I got to experience failure, because I can now use these experiences as motivation to better myself. The only way you don’t succeed is when you decide you've given up. Just because you failed at a task, doesn't make you a failure. Learn from these experiences, and I promise you that you will succeed.

Gridiron Gang: Fran Tarkenton

With Super Bowl 50 taking place in a little over a week, I figured this is a good time to acknowledge the former football stars that were, or currently are, part of our Masonic Family. We start with a former member of the Order of DeMolay, legendary Quarterback Fran Tarkenton.

Francis Asbury Tarkenton, who later shortened the name to Fran, was born on February 3^rd, 1940 in Richmond, Virginia. He became the star Quarterback for Athens High School, where he led the team to a state championship in 1955. It was during his time in high school that Tarkenton found DeMolay, joining Frank Hardeman Chapter from Athens, Georgia in 1954. He attended the University of Georgia, where he led the Bulldogs to the Southeast Conference Championship and to the Orange Bowl. He became an All-American athlete for the Georgia Bulldogs.

In 1961, Tarkenton was drafted in the third round of the NFL Draft by the Minnesota Vikings. In his first NFL game, Tarkenton threw 4 touchdowns, an accomplishment that had not been repeated until this past year when Marcus Mariota of the Tennessee Titans made the same accomplishment. Tarkenton became known as a mobile Quarterback, often referred to as “The Mad Scrambler” or “Frantic Fran.” In 1968, after playing his first 6 seasons for the Minnesota Vikings, he was traded to the New York Giants. In 1972, which would prove to be the prime of his career, Tarkenton was traded back to the Minnesota Vikings. From here, Tarkenton would lead the Vikings to 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, unfortunately missing out on all three tries. Tarkenton was named the League MVP in 1975 and was selected a total of 9 times to the Pro Bowl team. Tarkenton became a Pro Football Hall of Famer in 1986.

After his playing days were over, Tarkenton became a very well-known business man. Tarkenton has started twelve businesses, including a multi-million dollar computer software company that he sold in 1994. He also became known as a motivational speaker and an author, writing the books “What Losing Taught Me about Winning,” and “How to Motivate People: The Team Strategy for Success.”

In 1986, the same year Tarkenton was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, DeMolay International inducted him into the DeMolay Hall of Fame. He was a Senior DeMolay as well as an Active Legion of Honor recipient. This Hall of Fame class was the inaugural class for DeMolay International.

“It is a great honor to be inducted into the DeMolay Hall of Fame. In today’s society where there is so much violence and heartache, it’s a gratifying feeling to know there is such a fine organization as DeMolay to look up to and lean on for guidance and support. I am proud to be a member!”

Be proud of who you are, both as a person and as a DeMolay.

Until next time – “Dad” Joe Pullin   

KoP Inspirational Talk

I took today off from the PA DeMolay office, but I did want to share a series of videos I found of a great speaker that addressed the Knights of Pythagoras in Louisiana. Enjoy!

Frat ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

Endings and Beginnings

As the end of the year approaches, we look forward to the holidays and time with our family and friends. However, the end of the year also means a change of leadership in many Masonic organizations, including DeMolay Chapters. As new young men take over the office of Master Councilor, they often feel a great deal of pride as well as a bit of dread over what being a leader means. Everyone can use a little advice and reassurance now and then, so today I shot out to the internet to find a useful article to share on this subject.

Over at http://www.joe.org/ I found an article about leadership in a volunteer organization. Sometimes we assume we have things figured out because we're the leader. But, as most leaders will tell you, that is often not the case.  I've reproduced the article here, but please note that the text is not mine, but is credited to the original author - Mr. Richard Cummins, an Assistant Professor of Government and Public Service at Texas A&M.

"For some time, questions have been asked about why some volunteer organizations are more successful than others. By and large, the problem is not with the leadership of the organization. Many talented volunteers bring substantial leadership experience from either the private or the public sector. The problem may be more closely related to unrealistic assumptions regarding the implementation of leadership for organizations.

Through personal experience, four common assumptions regarding leadership for volunteers have emerged. These benchmarks were more a result of armchair observations and hard knocks than the result of research. Research indicates these heuristics, however commonly accepted when working with volunteers, may cause more problems than they cure.

Volunteers are attracted to organizations for a variety of reasons. Generally, the motivations for aligning with others in a voluntary effort can be classified either as intrinsic, that is, doing something for the sake of the activity, or extrinsic, or doing something for an expected payoff. Whichever the case, the volunteer expects to do something. The following generally accepted assumptions may be a source of problems for volunteers willing to work.

Assumption One: Everyone knows what the organization stands for and represents. Volunteers select organizations because of the vision and mission of the organization. In order to fulfill an organization's mission, goals must be clearly articulated to the volunteers. Clearly, volunteers want to do something to help reach the goals and vision of the organization. With the increasing mobility of volunteers, the makeup of an organization will change rapidly and the assumption that everyone knows the mission of the organization is risky. The only way to assure common goals is to frequently share those goals.

Assumption Two: Everyone knows their role. In the work world, employees are usually provided a listing of expectations for their job, such as work standards, appropriate time schedules, authorization capabilities, oversight responsibilities, and reporting protocol. Volunteers have different motivations for voluntary work than paid employees; however, specific guidelines are required in order to have a smooth functioning organization. Role clarification cannot be over-emphasized in volunteer organizations.

Assumption Three: Everyone knows where to get needed information. Volunteers need to know and understand how different parts of a project fit together. Newsletters may give general comments and updates about a project but are usually inadequate regarding specifics about project progress. In addition to the informal lines of communication that develop, a specific reporting mechanism should be established and implemented. Many problems can be avoided when the information flow is unimpeded.

Assumption Four: Everyone gets feedback. It has been said that in Vietnam, the U.S. military did not fight a nine-year war; but rather because of frequent troop changes with no feedback or institutional memory, the U.S. military fought the first year of a war nine times in succession. Volunteers cycle through organizations in much the same way and new recruits are often unaware of previous efforts. Providing feedback to volunteers is critical at all levels of the organization. Special attention is required in order to share previous experiences with current members.

Becoming aware of assumptions and the effects those assumptions have is important in any endeavor. In order to address organizational assumptions, leaders for volunteers should be aware of four arts for sustained involvement. Learning and practicing these arts can contribute to success for volunteers and their chosen organizations.

Art One: Active Listening. Encourage others to talk and search for meaning. Be aware of values of volunteers and strive to meld organizational values and individuals' values. Encourage volunteers to talk about the organization and what they expect from the volunteering experience.

Art Two: Mentoring. Supportively guide others in learning and sharing not only how, but why specific roles are important. Strive to match available skills with volunteers' and organizational needs. Help others solve problems that are holding the organization back.

Art Three: Public Dialogue. Encourage public talk on matters that concern us all. Facilitate interaction to help volunteers gain understanding and appreciation for all segments of a project. Emphasize the free-flow of information.

Art Four: Evaluation and Reflection. Assess and incorporate the lessons we learn through action. Public decision making encourages those expected to implement plans to have ownership of those plans. Encourage new volunteers to make suggestions and avoid suggesting a lockstep method for the organization.

Providing leadership for volunteers can be exhilarating, frustrating, exciting, tedious, rewarding and demanding, all at the same time. Learning how to assess what is and assessing what could be is an important function of leadership for volunteers. Investing time to learn and practice the four arts for sustained involvement can yield substantial results."