Centennial Memory #86: Bro-Ties

To celebrate the DeMolay Centennial, PA DeMolay will be counting down 100 memories worth celebrating that took place within the DeMolay Chapters and Jurisdiction of Pennsylvania.

During the 2015-2016 PA DeMolay state term, State Master Councilor, Adam Pritchard and his officers developed the concept for "Bro-Ties." The Bro-Tie was a bow tie with half of it a black bow tie, and the other half a red bow toe. The concept was to create a mentor for new DeMolays, having the experienced DeMolay member teach them the basics of the organization, from the meaning of the lessons of DeMolay to making him feel included within the Chapter.

The newly initiated member would receive a black bow tie. He would be paired with an experienced member of the Chapter to mentor him. The mentor would wear a red bow tie. After meeting certain expectations and filling out a form to be submitted to the office, the two would share parts of the bow tie, giving each of them a red and black "Bro-Tie."

This program continued on throughout State Master Councilor, Eric Dye's term, with the team simplifying the form needed to earn a Bro-Tie. This program was a successful way to increase the brotherhood initiative within DeMolay.

Until next time - "Dad" Joe Pullin

The 5 Steps of Being a Mentor

PA DeMolay promotes the Bro-Tie mentoring program, a program that allows members to coach our newest brothers through the ranks of DeMolay. They are asked to help guide them and teach them to make their DeMolay experience more enjoyable. When both parties achieve success, a half of their bow-tie is exchanged, giving both participants a black and red bow-tie. With this, we should be asking ourselves "What does it take to be a good mentor."

As the program promotes, a mentor is a friend that helps guide a less experienced individual, but there are specific qualities that are important to make this process happen. Here are the five steps of being a mentor, as documented by the Oregon Youth Challenge Program:

Build trust - In order to be a mentor, the mentee must be able to trust the person leading him. Show them that you won't let them down.

Listen - Part of being a leader is listening to others. Listen to the mentee in order to find the best way to lead him.

Encourage - Motivation is an important part of success. As a mentor, encourage your mentee into learning what they need to in order to achieve their goals. 

Be Reliable - We already talked about building trust, but being reliable is about maintaining that trust. Be dependable, and the mentee will continue to follow your example. 

Have Fun - This should be the easiest part of being a mentor. Although you do want to make sure all other steps are followed, make sure both you and your mentee are having as much fun along the way. 

Every successful DeMolay has a story of someone that helped them along the way. In my case, I have a few different people who have mentored me and guided me to where I am now. Be that role model for someone else. Take advantage of the Bro-Tie program and help a new member learn more about DeMolay.

Until next time - "Dad" Joe Pullin 

#IAMDEMOLAY

The following is the link for the website that I found some of this important information.

http://www.oycp.com/MentorTraining/3/m3.html

A Bro-Tie Earned

The Bro-Tie mentoring initiative is a program that encourages experienced DeMolay members to get to know the newer members of the chapter a lot better. Mentors are to teach the new members the basics of DeMolay so it becomes a more comfortable environment for them. The mentor receives a black bow-tie, while the new member receives a red bow-tie. A questionnaire is filled out to determine that the mentoring has taken place. When the mentoring has occurred, the two members will exchange a half of their bow-tie, creating a red and black tie known as the Bro Tie.

At 007: Secret Agent Weekend, PA DeMolay announced its first two graduates of the Bro-Tie program. Brothers Jake Yarnall (the mentor) and Justin Nixon (the new member), both of Allentown Chapter, received and displayed their Bro-Ties for all to see. A new friendship has taken place, and now Justin understands more about the organization. In fact, Justin was recently installed as Senior Deacon of Allentown Chapter. 

If you'd like to wear one of these cool Bro-Ties, you need to earn one. There is still plenty of time, so reach out to a new member and teach him the important lessons of brotherhood and comradeship.

Happy DeMolay Month to all!

Until next time - "Dad" Joe Pullin

      

Dissapointed

I have been involved with DeMolay here in Pennsylvania for more than ten years. To some that may seem like a lot, while to others it's only a drop in the bucket. In that ten years, I have only been truly disappointed by a DeMolay or an Advisor on a handful of occasions. Unfortunately, today marks an addition to that list.

As I was getting ready to blog today, I found a comment awaiting moderation. It read as follows:

"Could you do your job and update the website. You have not even put any events on the calendar and it is already February. How do you expect me to go to events when you can't even put them on the website. I know that we have brought in kids this year and it is not shown on the website! So start doing your job and stop posting dumb blog posts."

I admit to being very taken aback by this remark. I wasn't initially sure how to respond to it, or if I should even post it. Then, I remembered a core tenet of the DeMolay program - teaching and mentoring. I also like to be as transparent as possible with my readers. With that in mind, I'm going to tackle this post from a couple of different angles.

First, as I have said before, if you're going to leave a comment, please sign it and let me know who I should respond to. An anonymous comment doesn't help anyone. When a person leaves a negative comment, and hides behind anonymity, I personally find it very cowardly. If you have an opinion that you'd like to state to me, please do so. I like to think I can take criticism well. We teach our Advisors and our State Officers to criticize in private rather than in public. This, however, was a very apparent shot at criticizing in public, but to what end? In the era of cyber bullying and web based issues, this kind of behavior does not solve any problems, it only exacerbates those that are present.

Next, I'd like to look at this from a "7 Cardinal Virtues" standpoint. We teach our members that Courtesy and Comradeship are key for DeMolays. Is this post courteous in any way? From my point of view, I don't believe it is. The 3rd Preceptor talks about reserving Courtesy for strangers, yet forgetting it for those that we are familiar with. I feel that this situation is a great example of that statement. I would hope that DeMolays in Pennsylvania would extend that kind of courtesy to everyone, but most especially to someone who works with the program.

Comradeship teaches that we should be looking out for our Brothers, ensuring that we stand with them. As has been said, "A house divided, cannot stand." Regardless of what you think of my job performance or my dedication, we are all on the same team. I'd rather you take a moment and help me perform to your expectations than to snipe at me from afar. As a person, I can only grow in that way.

Now, to address the concerns listed in the original message - the calendar and the membership numbers. Let's start with the Calendar. Last year, the PA DeMolay server suffered problems when the owner of the system passed away unexpectedly. At the same time, the computers malfunctioned, causing the entire Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania web system to crash. It took us nearly two months to get things back online. Part of that system was the Calendar on the PA DeMolay website (as well as on the Grand Lodge site.) Realizing the technical issues we faced, we have been in deep discussions about how best to solve the problems at hand. Repopulating the Calendar is a time intensive task. Until we decide which Calendar software we are going to use, we aren't investing the time. I can happily report that in the next couple of weeks, we will be transitioning to a Google Calendar that will provide better functionality and easier event management for our members. We didn't rush into this decision and we had to make it in consultation with other Masonic groups. While I apologize for the lack of events on the Calendar, I have been working diligently behind the scenes to improve the functionality and make it a better piece of software for our members. Unfortunately, this takes time, but, as I said, the issue should be solved shortly. Perhaps I should have been more transparent on this issue, however, I have told the same thing to anyone who has asked me (I just haven't broadcast it publicly.)

The next concern is about membership numbers. The poster is correct that new members have been initiated in 2013. After checking with "Dad" Berry, we have had one new member in January (from Westmoreland Chapter, by the way.) We haven't reported this on our site because the final membership goals for 2013 haven't been completed. Why? Because to finalize those numbers we have to have all of the Form 10's processed from the previous year. After talking with "Dad" Berry, we were still receiving 2012 Form 10's on January 15, 2013. The later the reports come to us, the harder it is for us to accurately post the information to you. We'd rather make sure the information we post is accurate and ready for press than to steam forward with wrong data. I understand the inconvenience of this method, but we've found it to be the most effective.

I hope this has answered the questions that have been raised and I will gladly discuss them further with anyone who is interested. You're welcome to call me at the office (800.266.8424 ext. 8) or to email me at webmaster@pademolay.net. I'll certainly respond. With that being said, you're not welcome to come to this blog and post anonymous comments that are meant to tear down instead of build up. I expect more out of DeMolays and adult volunteers. 

To the author of this post, I implore you, don't hide behind your screen. Reach out and contact me so that we can talk things through. I'd much rather discuss the issues with you directly than address them in this fashion. DeMolays are young men of character and our adult workers are mentors with integrity. I would hope that the original poster would have both of those qualities and come forward, at least to me.

To everyone else - this is the first, last, and only time I will respond to an anonymous posts. Further anonymous posts will be ignored and deleted.

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

Endings and Beginnings

As the end of the year approaches, we look forward to the holidays and time with our family and friends. However, the end of the year also means a change of leadership in many Masonic organizations, including DeMolay Chapters. As new young men take over the office of Master Councilor, they often feel a great deal of pride as well as a bit of dread over what being a leader means. Everyone can use a little advice and reassurance now and then, so today I shot out to the internet to find a useful article to share on this subject.

Over at http://www.joe.org/ I found an article about leadership in a volunteer organization. Sometimes we assume we have things figured out because we're the leader. But, as most leaders will tell you, that is often not the case.  I've reproduced the article here, but please note that the text is not mine, but is credited to the original author - Mr. Richard Cummins, an Assistant Professor of Government and Public Service at Texas A&M.

"For some time, questions have been asked about why some volunteer organizations are more successful than others. By and large, the problem is not with the leadership of the organization. Many talented volunteers bring substantial leadership experience from either the private or the public sector. The problem may be more closely related to unrealistic assumptions regarding the implementation of leadership for organizations.

Through personal experience, four common assumptions regarding leadership for volunteers have emerged. These benchmarks were more a result of armchair observations and hard knocks than the result of research. Research indicates these heuristics, however commonly accepted when working with volunteers, may cause more problems than they cure.

Volunteers are attracted to organizations for a variety of reasons. Generally, the motivations for aligning with others in a voluntary effort can be classified either as intrinsic, that is, doing something for the sake of the activity, or extrinsic, or doing something for an expected payoff. Whichever the case, the volunteer expects to do something. The following generally accepted assumptions may be a source of problems for volunteers willing to work.

Assumption One: Everyone knows what the organization stands for and represents. Volunteers select organizations because of the vision and mission of the organization. In order to fulfill an organization's mission, goals must be clearly articulated to the volunteers. Clearly, volunteers want to do something to help reach the goals and vision of the organization. With the increasing mobility of volunteers, the makeup of an organization will change rapidly and the assumption that everyone knows the mission of the organization is risky. The only way to assure common goals is to frequently share those goals.

Assumption Two: Everyone knows their role. In the work world, employees are usually provided a listing of expectations for their job, such as work standards, appropriate time schedules, authorization capabilities, oversight responsibilities, and reporting protocol. Volunteers have different motivations for voluntary work than paid employees; however, specific guidelines are required in order to have a smooth functioning organization. Role clarification cannot be over-emphasized in volunteer organizations.

Assumption Three: Everyone knows where to get needed information. Volunteers need to know and understand how different parts of a project fit together. Newsletters may give general comments and updates about a project but are usually inadequate regarding specifics about project progress. In addition to the informal lines of communication that develop, a specific reporting mechanism should be established and implemented. Many problems can be avoided when the information flow is unimpeded.

Assumption Four: Everyone gets feedback. It has been said that in Vietnam, the U.S. military did not fight a nine-year war; but rather because of frequent troop changes with no feedback or institutional memory, the U.S. military fought the first year of a war nine times in succession. Volunteers cycle through organizations in much the same way and new recruits are often unaware of previous efforts. Providing feedback to volunteers is critical at all levels of the organization. Special attention is required in order to share previous experiences with current members.

Becoming aware of assumptions and the effects those assumptions have is important in any endeavor. In order to address organizational assumptions, leaders for volunteers should be aware of four arts for sustained involvement. Learning and practicing these arts can contribute to success for volunteers and their chosen organizations.

Art One: Active Listening. Encourage others to talk and search for meaning. Be aware of values of volunteers and strive to meld organizational values and individuals' values. Encourage volunteers to talk about the organization and what they expect from the volunteering experience.

Art Two: Mentoring. Supportively guide others in learning and sharing not only how, but why specific roles are important. Strive to match available skills with volunteers' and organizational needs. Help others solve problems that are holding the organization back.

Art Three: Public Dialogue. Encourage public talk on matters that concern us all. Facilitate interaction to help volunteers gain understanding and appreciation for all segments of a project. Emphasize the free-flow of information.

Art Four: Evaluation and Reflection. Assess and incorporate the lessons we learn through action. Public decision making encourages those expected to implement plans to have ownership of those plans. Encourage new volunteers to make suggestions and avoid suggesting a lockstep method for the organization.

Providing leadership for volunteers can be exhilarating, frustrating, exciting, tedious, rewarding and demanding, all at the same time. Learning how to assess what is and assessing what could be is an important function of leadership for volunteers. Investing time to learn and practice the four arts for sustained involvement can yield substantial results."