Showing posts with label Courtesy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Courtesy. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Random Act of Kindness

The other day I was looking around on Facebook and saw a story that really caught my attention. “Dad” Labagh shared a story from David Miller, the current Deputy State Master Councilor of Virginia and graduate of KeyMan University. David was at a gas station filling up his truck. He still had a long distance to travel, while only having just about $12 on him. He used all of the cash he had and started to pump his gas. As he was pumping, he realized that the pump was filling more than he paid for, and in a panic, tried to figure out how he was going to pay for it. As he walks to the cashier to figure out what happened, Before he had a chance to go inside, the man in line behind him told him to keep pumping because he put $40 on his pump. David was amazed that a random stranger would do such a good deed to make sure he could get home.

When I first read this story, and even now, I found it really great that there are still good people that willingly do selfless deeds for people that may not even know. It made me think when the last time I did something like that. Sure I've done the normal opening doors for people and I gave a cashier a dollar for a small child that was a dollar short at the Elizabethtown Fair, but nothing to this caliber. As part of DeMolay, we are taught to be courteous of others, but an occasional random act of kindness never hurt either. David will remember this good deed for the rest of his life. How can we affect the lives of others. I challenge everyone reading this blog post to go out and perform a good deed for someone, whether someone you know or don't know. 


Until next time - "Dad" Joe Pullin
    

Thursday, October 16, 2014

A Long Delayed Thank You

Earlier this week, I was packing up some boxes in my basement in anticipation of moving. The task seemed pretty menial at the time. I was digging through old photos, discarding items I no longer used, and generally creating order out of chaos. In one of the boxes, I found a stash of office supplies that used to be at my desk when I was in high school and college. It contained pencils, pens, a hole punch, etc. At the bottom of the pile, I discovered a small green box and recalled that it contained something unusual.

You see, in this box, was an honest to goodness fountain pen. That's right - one of those "old timey" writing instruments that were primarily used before the invention of the ball point pen. My memory having been appropriately jogged, I started remembering where the pen had come from. Then it struck me. I must have been 11 or 12 years old and the pen was a gift from an older couple my parents showed dogs with. I used to visit them and assist them with caring for their Pulis (a rare canine breed from Hungary.)

I decided to take the pen into the office and see if I could get it working. After a few minutes of cleaning out the ink and attaching a new inkwell, the pen was working smoothly and I was off and writing. Let me just say, there is nothing quite like signing your name with a fountain pen! Now that the instrument was back and working, I was curious about the value. I did a quick internet search and was flabbergasted. The pen, which I then held, was no ordinary writing utensil. It was a Cross brand pen with a 14k nib (the part that the ink flows to which touches the paper.) Little did I know, this pen was a very expensive gift to a very unappreciative "tweenage" me.

Now knowing the value of what I was given, and quite frankly, appreciating it a lot more, I called up my folks and asked if they still knew the couple who had given me the pen (as I hadn't talked to them in years.) They were    elderly and my parents hadn't seen them in quite some time. I took to the internet and tried to do some searching, but sadly, came up fruitless. So, to Bobbi and Bernie Silverman, if you ever happen to come across this blog post, please know just how incredibly thankful I am; not only for the pen, but for the life lessons you taught me.

As usual, you are probably saying to yourself "Wow, cool story, but what does this have to do with DeMolay?" As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, I'm reminded just how ungrateful we generally can be. I know that I'm guilty of that trait at times. It's important to take time to say thank you to those that assist your life. Whether those persons be your parents (the first Precept, Filial Love), your Advisors and mentors (the third Precept, Courtesy), or your friends (the fourth Precept, Comradeship), we all need to find time to be more appreciative of those around us.

In that spirit, I have a thank you card to write (with my new pen, of course!)

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Dissapointed

I have been involved with DeMolay here in Pennsylvania for more than ten years. To some that may seem like a lot, while to others it's only a drop in the bucket. In that ten years, I have only been truly disappointed by a DeMolay or an Advisor on a handful of occasions. Unfortunately, today marks an addition to that list.

As I was getting ready to blog today, I found a comment awaiting moderation. It read as follows:


"Could you do your job and update the website. You have not even put any events on the calendar and it is already February. How do you expect me to go to events when you can't even put them on the website. I know that we have brought in kids this year and it is not shown on the website! So start doing your job and stop posting dumb blog posts."

I admit to being very taken aback by this remark. I wasn't initially sure how to respond to it, or if I should even post it. Then, I remembered a core tenet of the DeMolay program - teaching and mentoring. I also like to be as transparent as possible with my readers. With that in mind, I'm going to tackle this post from a couple of different angles.

First, as I have said before, if you're going to leave a comment, please sign it and let me know who I should respond to. An anonymous comment doesn't help anyone. When a person leaves a negative comment, and hides behind anonymity, I personally find it very cowardly. If you have an opinion that you'd like to state to me, please do so. I like to think I can take criticism well. We teach our Advisors and our State Officers to criticize in private rather than in public. This, however, was a very apparent shot at criticizing in public, but to what end? In the era of cyber bullying and web based issues, this kind of behavior does not solve any problems, it only exacerbates those that are present.

Next, I'd like to look at this from a "7 Cardinal Virtues" standpoint. We teach our members that Courtesy and Comradeship are key for DeMolays. Is this post courteous in any way? From my point of view, I don't believe it is. The 3rd Preceptor talks about reserving Courtesy for strangers, yet forgetting it for those that we are familiar with. I feel that this situation is a great example of that statement. I would hope that DeMolays in Pennsylvania would extend that kind of courtesy to everyone, but most especially to someone who works with the program.

Comradeship teaches that we should be looking out for our Brothers, ensuring that we stand with them. As has been said, "A house divided, cannot stand." Regardless of what you think of my job performance or my dedication, we are all on the same team. I'd rather you take a moment and help me perform to your expectations than to snipe at me from afar. As a person, I can only grow in that way.

Now, to address the concerns listed in the original message - the calendar and the membership numbers. Let's start with the Calendar. Last year, the PA DeMolay server suffered problems when the owner of the system passed away unexpectedly. At the same time, the computers malfunctioned, causing the entire Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania web system to crash. It took us nearly two months to get things back online. Part of that system was the Calendar on the PA DeMolay website (as well as on the Grand Lodge site.) Realizing the technical issues we faced, we have been in deep discussions about how best to solve the problems at hand. Repopulating the Calendar is a time intensive task. Until we decide which Calendar software we are going to use, we aren't investing the time. I can happily report that in the next couple of weeks, we will be transitioning to a Google Calendar that will provide better functionality and easier event management for our members. We didn't rush into this decision and we had to make it in consultation with other Masonic groups. While I apologize for the lack of events on the Calendar, I have been working diligently behind the scenes to improve the functionality and make it a better piece of software for our members. Unfortunately, this takes time, but, as I said, the issue should be solved shortly. Perhaps I should have been more transparent on this issue, however, I have told the same thing to anyone who has asked me (I just haven't broadcast it publicly.)

The next concern is about membership numbers. The poster is correct that new members have been initiated in 2013. After checking with "Dad" Berry, we have had one new member in January (from Westmoreland Chapter, by the way.) We haven't reported this on our site because the final membership goals for 2013 haven't been completed. Why? Because to finalize those numbers we have to have all of the Form 10's processed from the previous year. After talking with "Dad" Berry, we were still receiving 2012 Form 10's on January 15, 2013. The later the reports come to us, the harder it is for us to accurately post the information to you. We'd rather make sure the information we post is accurate and ready for press than to steam forward with wrong data. I understand the inconvenience of this method, but we've found it to be the most effective.

I hope this has answered the questions that have been raised and I will gladly discuss them further with anyone who is interested. You're welcome to call me at the office (800.266.8424 ext. 8) or to email me at webmaster@pademolay.net. I'll certainly respond. With that being said, you're not welcome to come to this blog and post anonymous comments that are meant to tear down instead of build up. I expect more out of DeMolays and adult volunteers. 

To the author of this post, I implore you, don't hide behind your screen. Reach out and contact me so that we can talk things through. I'd much rather discuss the issues with you directly than address them in this fashion. DeMolays are young men of character and our adult workers are mentors with integrity. I would hope that the original poster would have both of those qualities and come forward, at least to me.

To everyone else - this is the first, last, and only time I will respond to an anonymous posts. Further anonymous posts will be ignored and deleted.

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Discipline is not evil.


PREFACE: This column first appeared on another blog called Freemason Information. I found the article very informative and asked the author for permission to reprint it here, which he granted. Enjoy!
I recently attended a training session for a nonprofit organization whereby the intention was to teach new members the policies and procedures for the organization. I was there to assist. During the course of the program, the instructor explained the protocol for conducting meetings where the public may be in attendance. In addition to “Roberts Rules of Order,” the group had supplemental procedures for recognizing and answering questions from the floor. All of it seemed rather simple and straightforward, but there were a couple of young people in attendance, whom I judged to be in their mid-20′s, who seemed to be baffled by the instructor’s explanation. The teacher patiently repeated the procedure and demonstrated with some examples. This didn’t seem to help as the students were still at a loss as to what the instructor was saying. At this point, other students chimed in to support the teacher and tried to explain the concept to them. I even threw in my two cents. After much cajoling, they finally acquiesced and claimed they understood, but I wasn’t convinced they did.
As I was driving home that night I thought about the two young students and wondered why they were having a problem comprehending what appeared to be a simple concept. Aside from being younger than myself, I judged them to be relatively well educated. “Is it possible that I am more intelligent than they are?” I thought to myself. No, I like to believe I am well rounded, but certainly not in the category of being a genius. In all likelihood, we were probably comparable in terms of intelligence. So, what was causing the problem? Then it hit me, simple discipline.
Both tended to dress rather roughly to work and it wasn’t uncommon for them not to shave. Their speech and manners also hinted of the lack of social graces. Further, after observing their work habits, I found they had a reputation for bucking the system. They were far from stupid, but their nonconformist attitudes tended to get in their way of learning and adapting.
Not long ago I wrote an article entitled, “What’s wrong with a little discipline?,” which described the efforts of Caroline Haynes, a school principal in the United Kingdom, who was raising the test scores of her students by implementing strict discipline in the classroom.
More recently, Amy Chua, a Professor at Yale’s Law School in Connecticut raised some eyebrows with the publication of her new book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.” which is a memoir of her experiences raising two daughters using strict parenting techniques. This resulted in considerable criticism in the media and by parents who claimed Ms. Chua was too hard on her own children. Maybe she was, but you cannot argue with the end result whereby her children, who are now entering their college years, are intelligent and socially well-adjusted, not to mention excellent musicians. They excelled not because they were inherently bright, but because their mother instilled a sense of discipline in them by challenging them to think and participate.
In an age of permissiveness, where parents tend to be lax in enforcing discipline, people like Caroline Haynes and Amy Chua clearly demonstrate that discipline is not evil, but rather quite beneficial. However, as both people have discovered, there is a general perception by the public that discipline stifles the expression of individuality and creativity. Consequently, parents tend to be intolerant of such things as school uniforms and corporal punishment in public schools.
Consider this, up until the 1960′s there were dress codes in public schools. For example, boys had to wear collared shirts, slacks, and proper shoes. Blue jeans, gym shoes, T-shirts, and shorts were a taboo. Further, there were hair codes which defined length and cut. If anything was out of place, you were sent home. Likewise, girls had similar codes. Dress lengths were checked regularly and there were certain ways you couldn’t wear your hair. Excessive use of makeup was also checked. This all changed in the 70′s when kids rebelled and parents began to insist their children be given certain freedoms which resulted in a “grunge” look that remains with us to this day. Is it any small coincidence that the rebellion of school dress codes in the 70′s led to a similar change in office dress codes in the 90′s? Hardly.
It is not my intention here to make a pitch for student dress codes or the re-implementation of corporal punishment, rather to point out the far-reaching effects from the lack of discipline by parents. As evidenced by the work of Haynes and Chua, there are benefits associated with discipline such as producing a trained mind that knows how to analyze, think, and take initiative to seek the proper answer (which would have certainly helped the two young students mentioned earlier). Discipline also forces the person to assume responsibility and gives them a sense of purpose. As such, it significantly contributes to their maturity. Further, it promotes teamwork by teaching uniformity and commitment. Discipline affects our thinking patterns, speech, common courtesy and decorum, all of which contributes to making a person more socially adjusted.
When it comes to discipline, nobody likes to be pushed, least of all myself, but I have learned to push myself when necessary. As a kid though, every once and awhile I needed a good swift kick in the rear end to get my attention and point me in the right direction. Even a nudge from a caring parent or mentor, given at the right time, can work wonders. That’s what parenting is all about. Unfortunately, not enough people are doing this. Maybe if everyone was required to serve a two year hitch in the military things would be different.
Some people perceive discipline as evil, that it does nothing more than “teaches trained seals how to perform” while sacrificing their creativity and spirit in the process. Such accusations are naive and misunderstand the purpose of discipline which is how to effectively channel skills and creative energies. Discipline represents a process whereby we learn there are consequences for our actions or inaction (“cause and effect”), that there are both right ways and wrong ways for doing things. No great or important object was ever built without some form of discipline. Ask any engineer, architect, musician, inventor, scientist, manufacturer or craftsman; they will all tell you that you cannot build anything of substance without discipline.
No, discipline is certainly not evil, but you have to wonder about the people who fail to instill it. Excuses abound to rationalize why they do not do so, such as they don’t have time, or they don’t want to inhibit their children. Some are plain and simply afraid to do so in fear of the legal system. When parents fail to teach discipline it defaults to teachers, coaches, and employers to do so, which is not necessarily their responsibility and may produce undesirable results. Understand this, for every person who fails to learn some form of discipline, they become a burden on society and, accumulatively, they represent a decline in our civilization.
Keep the Faith!
Note: Reprinted with permission. All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.
Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M. Bryce & Associates (MBA) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 30 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com