Which Acceptance Do You Accept?

In the next few weeks, our High School Seniors will be attempting to choose the right College that suits their needs. This blog post will provide some insight in making that decision easier. Today, we have a special guest blog post from "Dad" Peter Brusoe. Pete is a Past International Master Councilor for DeMolay International, currently residing in our Nation's Capital. 

The College search process is nearly at an end for the Class of 2016.  Acceptance letters are out and soon it is time to make a deposit and indicate which school you wish to attend.  Hopefully you have several highly competitive offers with financial assistance, which school do you choose? The one that goes to the NCAAs all the time? The school with the highest female to male ration? The one with the cutest mascot?  Below are some things to think about as you make your final selection.

1) Money: College is not cheap. There is tuition, housing costs, food costs, technology fees, athletic fees, lab fees, book fees, alumni-student partnership fees and student activity fees among other costs.   I have a friend whose study features copies of her children’s diplomas next to a picture of a beach house because it reminds her of how much that college education cost.  You will want to ask yourself the following questions about the financial aid package:

(A) Of the total package, how much is the scholarship component? Several schools have taken to including federal loans in the financial aid summary. This is a bit deceptive because loans are not aid, and you will need to pay them back with interest.  While a $30,000 scholarship from a private college sounds impressive, a $10,000 scholarship at a public university may mean less overall cost.  

(B) Focus on the cost of attendance.  Every school has an estimated cost of attendance that should include estimates for everything that you need to pay for including text books.  Colleges and Universities are increasingly finding ways to raise revenue by adding on new fees.

(C) Will the scholarship increase as tuition increases? Say the cost of attendance is $25,000 and you have a $12,500 scholarship.  Half of your costs are covered. But if tuition goes up to $26,000 now only 48% is covered.

(D) How much does tuition go up every year and who controls this? Most schools should have a reasonable and rational tuition increase every year.  Ideally it should be between 1-2%.  However, if schools have been putting off tuition increases you may get hit with a significant tuition increase during your time there.  It also depends on who controls tuition increases, in New York our state legislature controlled the tuition increases and would do so on the back of the students.

(E) How does the work study program work?  If there is a federal work study component in your aid how many hours a week do you need to work? Are you guaranteed those hours? Do you have a choice among your work study options or do they pick it for you?

(F) Remember the fine print of the scholarship awards:  Many scholarship offers are dependent on you still maintaining good grades the last two quarters of high school; others require that you maintain a certain GPA. Some scholarships like athletics, cheerleading, and band will require that you participate in that activity, if you stop participating the money will probably go away.  If you are doing an ROTC scholarship and you decide not to continue, what money will you need to pay back?

(G) Renegotiate: If your financial aid package is not what you expected, feel free to ask for more, but be specific.  You want to attend this college, but you can’t afford to do this unless your award goes up by a certain amount.

2) On time Graduation Rate:  You will graduate in four years or less. Each school should have statistics on what percentage of their student population graduates in four years.  In more and more advertising materials colleges will cite a five or perhaps a six year graduation rate.  This is great for marketing, but you really want to know if you will graduate on time or not.  How flexible is the school with changing majors? This is an important question as it relates to people changing their minds on programs.  If you go from a Political Science Major to a Chemistry Major will you need to add on time?

3) How often are required classes offered?  Some majors may have a required class that you need to take before taking upper division classes in the field.  If that class is only offered once every three semesters, that may goof up the rest of your academic plans.

4) What credits will transfer and how do they transfer?  Many students come into college with AP, or CLEP credits, or possibly classes at the local community college.  If you can knock out some credits it will enable you to take more classes in your major or some extra electives. However, college credit transferability can be problematic.
(A) You will want to make sure that the college you are going to will accept them, or will only accept them with certain grades. 
(B) It is also worth having the conversation about how they will accept them as equivalent class credits.  If you took English 101 at the local community college, some colleges will say you have three credits, but will still make you take the class again. 
(C) After you enroll, can you take classes at other schools and transfer the credit in?  During the summer you may want to take a couple of classes at the local community college and then transfer them in to get you closer to graduation.  Some schools will not allow you do this after you enroll (the fancy word is “matriculate”) or will require you to get special permission. 

5) Career services:  College is an amazing experience. However, college has a definitive goal in mind. At the end of four years you should be able to start a career.  The school should help you with this through internships or co-operative learning experiences, mentorship and other career services.  Schools should have some statistic about the percentage of their graduates who are employed or in graduate school within six months of graduation.   If your goal is to go to graduate school, you will want to ask where students go to grad school, law school or medical school.

6) What unique experiences does the school provide?  Schools provide outstanding opportunities for students to do neat things.  Things you should look for include study abroad experiences, Semester in Washington, combined bachelors and masters programs, Bachelors and law degrees.  These programs can add value to your experience.

7) Will you have the support that you need at the school?
(A) If you have an EOP or a 504 plan in place, will the school be able to provide you with reasonable accommodations? How supportive is the community? It may be worth asking to speak to a student like you for their experiences.
(B) Is your faith tradition supported on campus?  It is worth checking out the Campus Ministry program, the Hillel, the Newman Center, the Hindu Student Association or the Muslim student association to see what level of programing and support they have for students.
(C) What support does the school provide students for difficult classes?  You will struggle with some classes in college.  I was horrible at calculus, but thankfully UAlbany had free tutoring on Tuesday nights in the Academic Support Services office.  I was there every Tuesday trying to grapple with the material with a very understanding graduate student.
(D) If you identify as LGBT does the school provide support for their students? 

8) Sit in on a class.  I was deciding between two schools for college, one of my mentors said to me “Sit in on the class and listen to the students and the interaction they have, you will notice a stark difference between UAlbany and the other school.”  She was 100% right.  Sit in on a class, maybe do an overnight and experience what it is to be a student there. Make sure that you are comfortable being there.

9) Reach out to DeMolay alumni who went to the school:  Somewhere in our Masonic Family we know someone who attended the university or college that you are looking at attending.  If you don’t know of someone reach out your chapter advisor or deputy executive officer.  There is someone out there who can give you insight or advice.

10) Do not go to the school solely because that is where your love of your life is going or your best friend is going.  College has a way of changing relationships and you do not want to be stuck at a school just because your friend was going there. 

Good luck as you make your decision in the coming weeks!

Rites of Passage

I've been stewing on this blog post for a while. I just wasn't ready to write it up, but, since I don't have anything else this morning, I figured now is the time! I'm a big fan of Discovery Channel, Nat Geo, History Channel, etc. However, I don't have cable, so I really don't get to watch these unless I'm at home at my parent's house or with someone else.

I remember a fantastic show on Nat Geo called "Taboo." It documents various cultures around the world and their strange customs. I particularly remember one episode about "Rites of Passage." This program dealt with how different cultures handle the transition of child to adult, mostly from a male-centric point of view. Every culture has different ways to celebrate this milestone, some of which are just social constructs (meaning that the event / celebration is just arbitrary and created by society - a "sweet sixteen" party for instance.)
As I watched the show I realized how lucky I was to have become a man in the United States. Many cultures take the transition from boy to man quite seriously, usually marking it with physically or emotionally challenging contests. For instance, several African and Pacific cultures use ritualized branding or tattooing to mark the coming of age. This might be as simple as a small tattoo or as intense as a full facial brand. Perhaps a more famous example is the Agoge as displayed in the movie "300." While the film is a work of fiction, the Agoge was a real experience. The movie dramatized the event somewhat, but those undertaking the Agoge were underfed and given no comfort, just as it was portrayed.

The other side of the coin is composed of the religious ceremonies that deal with the coming of age. These include Confirmation in the Christian faith, the Bar (or Bat) Mitzvah in the Jewish faith, Rumspringa in the Amish community, or the Sanskar among Hindus and Buddhists. Many countries see the value in the ceremonies and have instituted secular versions, such as the borgaraleg ferming in Iceland or the Human-Etisk Forbund in Norway(which both roughly translate to "civil confirmation.") Interestingly, America has no singular cultural indicator for the transition from youth to adult; it is usually left up to the family or the faith to perform.

So, as I usually ask, "... but what does this have to do with DeMolay?" I'm hoping you've made the connection already, but if you haven't, DeMolay is easily identified as a Rite of Passage ceremony (with influence from its Masonic founders.) In fact, Masonry is just as a much a Rite of Passage as DeMolay. Let's examine this further, shall we?

In DeMolay, for the first time, a youth is asked to make a "journey" on  his own with other young men of his age. On this "journey" the new members are instructed in life lessons that will help them better fit in with adult society (the seven cardinal virtues.) They then witness a drama that reinforces these ideals and are welcomed into the brotherhood after vowing to live by these ideals. That's pretty heavy stuff for your average 12 year old! But, this is just the start!

There are several "milestones" along the DeMolay career, marking advancement in understanding and status. These include becoming Master Councilor, being awarded the Representative DeMolay, or being honored with the Degree of Chevalier. These are all part of the passage from teen to man. This process is even more apparent when a DeMolay decides to become a Freemason and join the fraternity. If he does, this marks his first time being welcomed among the "men" that have aided him on his DeMolay journey. When coupled together like this, DeMolay and Freemasonry are great examples of an extended Rite of Passage for our young men.

Now some might be cringing at this, thinking it sounds "cult" like. It is no more like "cultish" than getting a car at 16, registering for the Selective Service at 18, or voting in your first election. It's part of what our society has constructed to teach those who reside therein a system of morals and values that is acceptable to the culture as a whole. Let's be proud of what we have accomplished using this "system." Great men like Walt Disney, John Wayne, Bill Clinton, and many, many more can't be wrong!

Professor Anthony's sociology class is now over. Thanks for coming.

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

Mortar Boards and Sombreros

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success." ~ Robert Orben

Ah, that time of year when all of the young people across our great nation drape themselves in gowns and wear goofy, square shaped, caps to celebrate their apparent achievement in reaching a culturally significant milestone; otherwise known as graduation.

Whether it be from a college or university, or simply from high school, our society places huge importance on "graduation." We celebrate the achievement of youth by patting them on the back, giving them some money, and then sending them on their way. As a DeMolay advisor, I get several invitations to graduation parties each year, and it makes me feel good to know that the youth I work with want me to be a part of their celebrations. The party serves as a culmination to several years of hard work, and a chance to look into the future and relive the past. As cliche as it may seem, graduations are certainly not the ending of anything, they are in fact a beginning.

They are a beginning of what is going to be the scariest and most stressful part of your life (especially if you're graduating out of school and going into the real world.) Schools do a great job of teaching you lessons that you will need to write a resume and get a job. That's their purpose. All schools like to trumpet how many of their students end up going on to land jobs. However, I posit that this is a really poor measurement of how well their students have done after they have left the hallowed halls.

What I'd really like to know is how many students end up filing for bankruptcy during their first five years after school? How many graduates boomerang back to their parents because of an inability to manage their own finances and maintain a place of living? How many go on to default on loans, blunder their way through interviews, or lose sight of the important things in life? They can't tell you those numbers, and they never will.

School teaches you scholastics. DeMolay teaches you life. It's that simple. There is never going to be a class in high school or college that teaches you banquet etiquette, and I'm willing to bet very few will instruct a person where a cut of meat comes from on a cow. These are life lessons that a person can learn in DeMolay, and as an Advisor it is my job to do that.

While it may not be the most exciting gift to receive, I would recommend that all Advisors purchase a copy of this book for any DeMolay graduating High School or College - http://www.amazon.com/Life-After-School-Explained-Compass/dp/097173660X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274966605&sr=8-4

I was given this book by my boss at my first real job. I was long out of college, but she thought the book was good, and gave me an extra copy that she had. Wow! What a book! It covers some really good life lessons, and makes you think about things that were never covered in school. What's the difference between and HMO and PPO? What are my responsiblities when tax time comes around? How should a fellow go about buying a diamond when that special lady comes into his life? What should you look for when renting your first apartment? How should you dress for business casual? This book tells it all.

"So, as DeMolays graduate, and move on in their lives, it's important for us, as Advisors, to change with our members, and give them the life lessons they need to become productive members of society. That being said, I'll leave you with a quote that I find particularly appropriate;

"At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros." ~ Paul Freund

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony