Monday, June 18, 2012

Free Drama

I'm always on the look out for interesting things to write about for this blog. My inspiration can come from almost any place and sometimes it's the really strange ideas that work out best for me. This morning, as I was reviewing my Facebook feed, I came across a story called "Slaying the Derby Drama Dragon." Now, some of you know that I'm a big fan of roller derby and actively support my local team. One of the members of that team posted that article, which discusses how to avoid internal quarrels amongst roller girls. After reading it, I realized that many of the lessons filter over to DeMolay.

Avoiding DeMolay Drama 101

Direct Your Feedback

If you are unhappy about something going on within your Chapter, the best way to handle it is to approach the person most responsible for the issue and discuss it with them in a calm and collected manner. If the issue is between you and another DeMolay, try to get an Advisor to help mediate the situation. Approaching an issue directly is always better than letting a problem simmer and simply complaining.

Quit Complaining 

If you want to be negative about another DeMolay, an Advisor, an event, or something else, take a moment and stop. Think about what you are going to say and ask if it is really going to help the situation or not. Why are you upset in the first place? If it's an issue, go back to the Direct Your Feedback section and try to find a solution. There is no need to complain to your Brothers, especially if you aren't doing anything else to address the problem.

Leave it in the Chapter Room

Sometimes a vote isn't going to go your way or an event is going to get cancelled. Don't take it personally. It's better that you learn from the experience and try to improve yourself than to get angry about the situation. You'll grow as a person and earn more respect from your peers for it.

Respect Your Brothers

Remember, you are Brothers first. Everyone gets hung up on the idea of "respect." As has been said many times, you have to earn it before someone will give it to you. Are you being respectful of others? If you see someone being disrespectful, towards another DeMolay or an Adult, kindly remind them of it and try to help the situation.

Cancel the Cliques

We all have our friends in DeMolay, but the last thing you want to do is exclude a new member. If you are socializing after a meeting or at Patton Campus, invite the new guy to hang out with you. Nothing will drive away a new member faster than feeling excluded or unwanted.

Be Positive

No one wants to spend time with people who are constantly unhappy. Yes, your Chapter may be weak on members, going broke, and struggling with activities. But, the last thing anyone wants to do is to go to a meeting to hear more complaining. If it's not fun, why do it? Keep your attitude positive and you'll find that your Chapter can do more than you think.

Brothers First

Always have your Brother's back. If someone is talking down about a Brother, or perhaps being mean to him to his face, step in and show that you support him. We're a fraternity, so remember that. Take care of your Brothers in their time of need and they'll take care of you.

Speak Up or Keep Quiet

If you are not going to Chapter meetings or activities, then you have no right to complain. Change only happens when someone causes it. If you don't like how something is going, then step up and bring about change. Don't just sit in the back and complain. No one likes a complainer, especially a lazy one.

Use Your Strengths

We're all good at something. Use your strength to help your Chapter. You might not be a great public speaker, but instead you're great at using computers. Instead of offering to go do a Lodge presentation, help the Chapter manage its Facebook page. By recognizing and using everyone's strengths, the Chapter will surely grow.

Follow the Golden Rule

Just remember - treat others as you want to be treated and you can't go wrong.

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

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