Avoiding DeMolay Drama 101
Direct Your Feedback
If you are unhappy about something going on within your Chapter, the best way to handle it is to approach the person most responsible for the issue and discuss it with them in a calm and collected manner. If the issue is between you and another DeMolay, try to get an Advisor to help mediate the situation. Approaching an issue directly is always better than letting a problem simmer and simply complaining.
If you want to be negative about another DeMolay, an Advisor, an event, or something else, take a moment and stop. Think about what you are going to say and ask if it is really going to help the situation or not. Why are you upset in the first place? If it's an issue, go back to the Direct Your Feedback section and try to find a solution. There is no need to complain to your Brothers, especially if you aren't doing anything else to address the problem.
Leave it in the Chapter Room
Sometimes a vote isn't going to go your way or an event is going to get cancelled. Don't take it personally. It's better that you learn from the experience and try to improve yourself than to get angry about the situation. You'll grow as a person and earn more respect from your peers for it.
Respect Your Brothers
Remember, you are Brothers first. Everyone gets hung up on the idea of "respect." As has been said many times, you have to earn it before someone will give it to you. Are you being respectful of others? If you see someone being disrespectful, towards another DeMolay or an Adult, kindly remind them of it and try to help the situation.
Cancel the Cliques
We all have our friends in DeMolay, but the last thing you want to do is exclude a new member. If you are socializing after a meeting or at Patton Campus, invite the new guy to hang out with you. Nothing will drive away a new member faster than feeling excluded or unwanted.
No one wants to spend time with people who are constantly unhappy. Yes, your Chapter may be weak on members, going broke, and struggling with activities. But, the last thing anyone wants to do is to go to a meeting to hear more complaining. If it's not fun, why do it? Keep your attitude positive and you'll find that your Chapter can do more than you think.
Always have your Brother's back. If someone is talking down about a Brother, or perhaps being mean to him to his face, step in and show that you support him. We're a fraternity, so remember that. Take care of your Brothers in their time of need and they'll take care of you.
Speak Up or Keep Quiet
If you are not going to Chapter meetings or activities, then you have no right to complain. Change only happens when someone causes it. If you don't like how something is going, then step up and bring about change. Don't just sit in the back and complain. No one likes a complainer, especially a lazy one.
Use Your Strengths
We're all good at something. Use your strength to help your Chapter. You might not be a great public speaker, but instead you're great at using computers. Instead of offering to go do a Lodge presentation, help the Chapter manage its Facebook page. By recognizing and using everyone's strengths, the Chapter will surely grow.
Follow the Golden Rule
Just remember - treat others as you want to be treated and you can't go wrong.
Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony