Communication: Why Do We Talk About it So Much?

The following blog post is from Brother Sean Reitze, State Junior Councilor for Pennsylvania DeMolay and a PMC of Pilgrim Chapter. 

Communication is something we all experience in everyday life. We often hear about its importance during Stated Meetings, Advisory Council meetings, and other areas of DeMolay. Why is it spoken of so much at DeMolay events? I hope that throughout the course of this blog post, and with my insight as a communication studies minor, I can help you understand why communication is so important — not just in DeMolay, but in life as well.

One of the major facets of DeMolay involves event planning. Imagine yourself as the chairman of a committee that is planning a regional dance for your local Chapters, Assemblies, and Bethels in the area. You tell your committee in advance that you want music, decorations, and refreshments for the dance. Fast forward to the night before the event: the “music” for the event is just a member’s laptop speakers, “decorations” include a few balloons, and the “refreshments” consist of a half-gallon of fruit punch (without cups nonetheless!) This is definitely not what you had in mind for your event!

While this example might seem a little extreme, let me offer an opportunity for improvement and illustrate one of the key concepts of communication theory. Right off the bat, the chairman should have met with the members of the committee a few times before the dance and should have been more specific with his requests. Moving past this part of the solution, let’s take a deeper look at where and how this miscommunication occurred.

The committee members were only told by the chairman that they need to secure music, decorations, and refreshments. While the committee members technically weren’t wrong in completing what they were tasked with, it is certainly not what the chairman had in mind. To look at this more closely, we are going to look at the Allowable Range of References, or an acceptable list of words that you could think of when someone says something. When the chairman said “music,” what was he really saying? On one side of the range you have the laptop speakers, while on the other end of the range you have a DJ with professional speakers (which is what the chairman had in mind). Bypassing occurred when the communicators (in this case, the committee members) chose different spots on the Allowable Range of References. This concept can be applied again with the decorations and refreshments.

From looking at this example, you can see that there are many aspects of communication we don’t actively think about. Miscommunication can happen very easily, but it can also be easily avoided by being specific with what you are trying to promote or convey. Keep the Allowable Range of References in mind if you find yourself planning an event, working on a committee, or involved in other aspects of DeMolay. This is one of many examples of communication theory I have learned so far, and I hope to share more with you as time goes on. Like the motto of KeyMan University says: Ancora Imparo!

Running Good Meetings

I'm having a particularly busy day here at the PMYF office, so today's blog post is going to be short and sweet.

I recently came across this great video on how to run a good team meeting and thought I'd share it with all of you.

 

 

For those in the Western part of the state, I will be attending the Grand Master's Youth Appreciation event in Pittsburgh suburbs this weekend. I hope to see you there!

 

Frat ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

 

Delicious Graphics

Today, I just wanted to share something quick and easy with you. I stumbled across this infographic out on a blog located at http://sweetheartsocial.blogspot.com/, of which the owner is a member of the Masonic family. It's a great, short, reference for those planning after meeting refreshments.

In the words of "Dad" Dennis Snedden, "Meetings without refreshments suck!" So, don't let your meetings fall into that trap - use this handy reference!

Dressing up for DeMolay

One thing I have become personally passionate about is proper dress and attire for men in professional and social situations. At Supreme Tall Cedars Class I gave a mini-lesson to one of the DeMolays and realized that it might make valuable blog post. I've often posted links to things on this blog before, but I thought I'd take a moment and write a quick primer entitled "Dressing for DeMolay."

Let's start with the basics. If you are going to a DeMolay event, you should generally wear one of two kinds of pants - khaki or dress. It's hard to go wrong with khaki pants. They go great with polo shirts and can easily be dressed by wearing a button up shirt. Alternately, you can wear dress pants which are usually part of a suit (meaning pants that match the style and color of a jacket.) You can choose which type of shirt to wear based upon many factors. I always recommend over dressing if you don't know what to wear. You'll never feel bad wearing a button up shirt when you could have worn a polo, but you'll stick out like a sore thumb if you wear a polo when button ups are required. Stick to the basics with shirts - white or light blue. Unless you know what you're doing, don't wear striped or brightly colored shirts. If you're wearing a tie, that means you should also be wearing a blazer or jacket. Use your tie to bring your outfit together. If you're wearing a white shirt, khaki pants, and a blue blazer, go with a tie that has some blue, white, or browns in it. If you're wearing a dark colored suit, then use your tie to match to your shirt. If your suit is black, a tie with a dark color in it will go well. How long should your tie be? When tied, the end of the tip of the end of the tie should be right about where your belt buckle is. I always recommend wearing a tie chain or a tie tack to help keep your tie in place. Unless you're very experienced, you should only wear a regular tie - leave the bow ties and other variations for the pros. When buttoning your jacket, remember this phrase - "Always the middle, sometimes the top, never the bottom." This means you should always button the middle button, sometimes the top button, but never the bottom button. You should only button your jacket if you are standing, unless it's double breasted (however, steer clear of double breasted suits if you can.) As for shoes, it's pretty simple. They should be leather, or a leather like material. Athletic shoes or sneakers are immediately out. If your pants are brown, wear brown shoes. If they are black, wear black shoes. It's pretty easy. Your socks should match the color of your shoes, but be darker if possible. For example, if you are wearing brown shoes, you should wear dark brown socks. You can't get much darker than black, so if you have black shoes on you, you should also have black socks on. Under no circumstance should you be wearing white socks with leather shoes. You should always wear a belt. The color of the belt should match your shoes - brown shoes = brown belt, black shoes = black belt. Now, let's talk about accessories. Yes, even boys accessorize! You should only ever wear one lapel pin at a time. Period. The lapel pin should go on your left lapel, in the button hole if one is available. If there is no button hole, you should position it about where a button hole would be if one were present. There are two trains of thought on what kind of lapel pin to wear. The first is that you wear the pin of the group you are attending that night. This shows your support for the group and your interest. The other idea is that you should wear a pin different from the group you are going to visit. Why? Because the members already know the logo of their own group. By wearing something different, you'll have an easy way to start a conversation about another cause you support. When it comes to DeMolay regalia, remember that one is always enough - one pocket item and one neck item. Jewels should be worn on the pocket, not the lapel! If you are wearing a name tag, you shouldn't wear any jewels. Always wear your highest award unless you are participating in a special event, such as a membership jewel presentation. While this merely scratches the surface of men's fashion, it's a great place to start to learn how to dress sharp! Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

DI Rules and Regs - What You Need to Know - Part IV

As I recover from Convention (and gear up for Key Man) the days only seem to get busier. I've been getting lots of responses back from the post-Convention survey that I sent out. If you attended Convention 2012 and would like to fill out a quick survey on how you thought the event went, drop me a line at webmaster@pademolay.org and I'll get one emailed to you right away. I have 30 or so responses right now, but I'd like to get to 50 before drawing some conclusions and sharing them with you.


Today we are going revisit a series of posts that I started earlier this year - a discussion of the DeMolay International Rules and Regulations. Every Chapter must have a copy of the Rules and Regs of DeMolay International, however, in many cases they are out of date, misplaced, or just forgotten. Frankly, much of what is contained in the document has little to no bearing on what you do in a local Chapter, but there are some very specific sections that are important for you to know about. In the PA DeMolay version of DAD Training we discuss these, but sometimes we don't look at them as closely as we should. I hope this will help new and veteran advisors alike.

As a warning, some of these posts are going to be a bit longer, as we show the section of the Rules and Regs and then talk about it.



Today we're taking on Part IV: Article 18 - Meetings

318.1      Stated Meetings.  Stated meetings of a Chapter must be held at least monthly.

Discussion: This one is pretty simple. Your Chapter has to meet at least once a month. 

318.2      Special Meetings.  Special meetings of a Chapter may be called by the Master Councilor, with the approval of the Advisory Council, but no business may be transacted other than conferring of degrees, unless specified in a notice mailed to each member at least five days before the meeting.

Discussion: This is a throw back to our Masonic roots. If the Chapter needs to have a meeting other than what is scheduled, the Master Councilor can call for one, with the approval of the Advisory Council. To do so, he must send out a letter to each member, at least five days in advance, and specify what the meeting is about. Only the items that were specified can be discussed or acted on that that meeting.

318.3       Conduct of Business.  Business of the Chapter must be conducted while the Chapter is open on the Initiatory Degree.

Discussion: Again, a Masonic hold over. This permits members who have only seen the first of our two degrees to participate.

318.4      DeMolay Degree, When Opened In.  When the Chapter is opened in its highest degree, all preceding degrees are opened and it may pass from work in one degree to work in another without other form than the declaration that it does so.

Discussion: Now here is an odd-ball rule! Basically, when you open your Chapter on the DeMolay Degree, you can switch to working in the Initiatory Degree without any declaration. What does this really have to do with operating your Chapter? Not much, I'm afraid.

318.5      Quorum.  Eight members are a quorum for the transaction of business.

Discussion: For a quorum to be reached in your Chapter, you have to have at least 8 voting members present. In PA, we handle this a bit differently. Check out the EO's policy on this at http://www.pademolay.org/resources/pdf/noquorum.pdf

318.6      Request for Special Meeting.  The Master Councilor shall, upon the written request of fifteen members, call a special meeting in accordance with Section 318.2.  The request shall state the purpose of the meeting.

Discussion: This piece provides a way for the members to over-rule the Master Councilor and force him to have a meeting to transact a specific piece of business, even if he doesn't want to.

318.7      Voting by Proxy, Prohibited.  A member may not vote by proxy.

Discussion: If a member wants to vote, he needs to be present to do so.

318.8      Exclude Objectionable Persons from Chapter Functions.  Any member of the Advisory Council who is present may exclude from Chapter meetings, or entertainments or functions held by a Chapter, any member, any visiting DeMolay, Senior DeMolay, Mason or other person, whose presence is objectionable or detrimental to the peace and harmony of the Chapter.

Discussion: This article provides a way for any adult volunteer to stop or prevent an unpleasant situation that might arise. It grants pretty broad powers that most Advisors don't know they can exercise.

318.9      Visitors.

      (a)   A Mason who is in good standing and has been examined by a member of the Advisory Council of a Chapter or vouched for by a Mason is eligible to visit a tiled Chapter or witness any of the secret work.

                (b)   The father, mother, stepfather, stepmother and legal guardian of a candidate for the degrees or of a member of DeMolay, and any other individuals who have attained the age of 21 permitted to attend by the Executive Officer, may, after giving a pledge not to reveal the secrets of DeMolay, visit a tiled Chapter.  (2001)

Discussion: Who can visit your Chapter? Just about anyone, as long as the the EO has given his approval and the Chapter is okay with it. In PA, your EO has automatically approved any adult invited by your Advisory Council, as well as any adult family members, teachers, administrators, clergy, government officials, and law enforcement personnel.

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony