The Key to Success is to Learn from our Failures

The following blog post is from Brother James McKeown, Region H Youth Representative and PMC of Friendship-Bray Chapter.
Failure; it isn’t fun, but it is something that is a part of life. We constantly have to deal with it in school, sports, personal life, and sometimes even in DeMolay. No one’s perfect, which is why I'm sure we've all experienced failure at least once or twice in our lives. People might think it's a way of saying that you didn't succeed, but I see failure as an experience gained. An experience, good or bad, can be used as experiences for your benefit. Quitting is the only true way to fail at something. I’m going to tell you a few stories of failure that happened to me.

The first story happens over the span of four years. I played basketball for my grade school from 5th grade to 8th grade. Over those four years, I was never on the best team, despite my school having one of the best basketball programs in the Catholic School League. I would always be on the “B” team, due to my lack of skills, but that didn’t stop my team from winning. Every one of those four years, my team would be top three in the league, putting us in good spots for the playoffs. We fought hard each year through the playoffs to make the championship and made it to the big dance all four years! In true Buffalo Bills fashion, we lost the championship four straight years. Looking back at this makes me ask the question, "why?" "Why couldn’t we just win one of those championship games?" "Why couldn’t I step up and do more for my team?" I’m never going to get an answer to these questions. The reason I ask these questions is because they are part of the experience I gained through losing. This experience helped me realize some important things in life. The first thing that comes to mind is that "life is so unfair." We have all heard, or even used this phrase. The only time we think about "life being unfair" is when it smacks us in the face. I truly believe that my team and I never failed. It taught my team and I that winning isn’t everything, that life still goes on after a loss. Losing taught us to keep moving forward and use the loss as motivation to better yourself.   

The second story is about a failure that I experienced in DeMolay. It was September 2017, and happened at the Mid Atlantic Tournament of Champions, which we know better as MATOC. During MATOC, I was set to perform the Magnificent Seven. I should have taken a few lessons from the Boy Scouts prepared better.I was not ready to perform the Magnificent Seven and I was going into this competition knowing that it will not be pretty. The lack of confidence showed, because I got 10 out of a possible score of 1000. I almost gave up halfway through the competition. Quite frankly, I never wanted to do ritual again. This experience of failure was hard to come to terms with, but it also taught me a few key lessons in life. It is still teaching me a lesson, which I still am learning to this day, and that is procrastination is bad. I really wasn’t motivated to learn my part for MATOC and that is the main reason why I procrastinated until the final few days to learn my part. Another lesson it taught me is to be confident. Being confident can make a major difference in one's performance. Looking back at this year's MATOC, I am glad I went. Without this experience of failure, I wouldn’t be learning these key lessons that will help me down the path of life. This experience helps me strive to do better in ritual, because now I know the embarrassment of doing poorly while other people are judging you. Will I do better in ritual now? I don’t know the answer to that question. All I know is that I will strive to do better and try to be the best ritualist I can be. 

Going into writing this blog post, I wanted to share experiences to help combat failure, but I realized that combating failure just comes naturally. We need failures in order to succeed. We need to know the bitterness taste of defeat before tasting the sweetness of victory. I’m glad I got to experience failure, because I can now use these experiences as motivation to better myself. The only way you don’t succeed is when you decide you've given up. Just because you failed at a task, doesn't make you a failure. Learn from these experiences, and I promise you that you will succeed.

Hoping For a RUSH in Membership for PA DeMolay

The following post is from Jacob Reilly, State Scribe of Pennsylvania DeMolay and PMC of al-Aksa Chapter.  

In my opinion, the most important aspect of DeMolay is membership. When I joined DeMolay back in March of 2013, my Chapter was always weak with this, having only one or two boys show up to meetings. When I became more involved with Pennsylvania DeMolay in late 2013, I realized I needed to “jump-start” my chapter's membership efforts to maximize the DeMolay experience. I planned some open houses and prospect events to help with this effort. After 1 year of planning these events, I got our active member count up to 6 active, which is better than it had been since I joined. 

I want every member to try their best to increase their chapter's membership, especially during the months of November and December. These months combined are known as DeMolay RUSH, and we are encouraging ever member of DeMolay to give their effort to increase membership during both November and December. 

Membership is crucial for our organization. If we had no members, we would have no DeMolay. Do you want to glance back in 30 years and see that the organization that you put your blood, sweat and tears into, is not in existence? I know I don't. We need members to be able to plan and run events. Keeping this Order in good condition for the next generation should be a high priority. 

Here are some ideas you can do to increase membership. Try planning a video game prospect party. Do this by setting up age appropriate games for your prospects to play. Try to set up video games that 3-4 people can play at a time, this way no one is left out or unable to play. You can plan an outdoor picnic where people come to eat, socialize, and play games to have a good time. Make sure that you have food and refreshments at any prospect event. Everyone loves to eat and will always come back for more. These are just a few ideas that you can to to help increase membership for your chapter. 

This is Jacob Reilly, State Scribe, signing off.

KMU Course Selection: Ritual and Performance

The following is a blog post highlighting a specific department that will be offered at KeyMan University this summer. Today's post is written by PA DeMolay Executive Officer, "Dad" Gregory Schaeffer, who will be the Department Chairman for the Ritual and Performance Department. 

The Ritual and Performance Department wants YOU to join us at KeyMan University!  On staff are 3 Senior DeMolays, who are all veterans of DeMolay Ritual, and will guide you through a week-long journey of learning, teamwork, and brotherhood.

Are you a new DeMolay who doesn't have much ritual experience?  No problem!  We start off by covering the basics of DeMolay ritual and public speaking.  We'll help you find the most effective way to memorize speeches (each person is different); we'll show you how to navigate the floor work and understand how a Chapter room should be set up.  We'll help you learn your Obligations.  And you'll get to work in a fun environment with other DeMolays, working together to learn and perform new ceremonies.

Are you a DeMolay who is nervous about public speaking?  We were too... we will give you individual attention throughout the week, to understand your strengths and weaknesses, and help you exit KeyMan as a more confident speaker.  This will help you not only in DeMolay, but at school, and for your future career!  You'll also get to work with Jurisdictional Officers throughout the week who will be like older Brothers, helping you 1-on-1.

Are you a DeMolay who is an experienced ritualist, and is looking for more knowledge?  We'll help you learn how to coach DeMolays in your home Chapter, to improve the quality of their ritual.  We'll teach you about ritual competitions, and how to maximize your scores.  You'll get to see the original 1st Edition of the DeMolay Ritual, read through some of those passages that the DeMolays had in 1919, and participate and discussions and debates about the history of the ritual, and what its role is in a modern DeMolay setting.

No matter your current skill level, we can promise a fun week, where you will come away excited about the ritual, and a more experienced public speaker.  We look forward to seeing you at KeyMan 2017!

To sign up for KeyMan University, visit the website at keyman.pademolay.org.

It is coming...

Yes, you read that title right. IT is coming. What is it?

Convention is mere days away. More than two years of planning have gone into this event and I sincerely hope that everyone has a good time. Erie is a great city and we have some wonderful events planned. Yes, it's going to be a busy weekend, but that's what makes Convention so special. I know going in to this event that the following things are going to happen:

1. Someone is going to be unhappy with the food.
2. Someone is going to be unhappy with the hotel.
3. Someone is going to be unhappy that they didn't have a piece of information they wanted.
4. Someone is going to get charged for parking, no matter how many times I've stressed that attendees shouldn't park at the hotel.
5. Someone is going to be unhappy at the lack of a hospitality suite.

Every year I become a basket case, always trying to make sure everything is perfect for everyone. This is the fifth PA DeMolay Convention I have planned and executed. I haven't had a perfect one yet. I know this one isn't going to be perfect. Nor will next year's. Nor will the year after that.

What I do know is that the staff and myself have put in hundreds of hours of work to bring you the best experience we can. At the end of the weekend, regardless of any other issues, I know we did our best work. That is all we can ask out of our advisors and our DeMolays - and I appreciate those that have contributed to making this year's Convention a success.

Please, enjoy your Convention - don't let the little things get you down - but rather look at all the good that is being done. That's what PA DeMolay is all about.

Frat! ~ "Dad" Seth Anthony

PA DeMolay Hits Flickr!

Key Man Conference is less than 24 hours away from its launch! As I'm sitting in the staff meeting listening in on the expectations and duties for the next week, I can tell you now that the advisors are excited to see the leaders of DeMolay from all different areas (PA, NJ, IL, NY, MD, DC, AL, UT, Ontario and Alberta!) thrive and become leaders in their own eyes!

To keep our followers involved, I will be updating our Flickr account nightly with photos of the activities the members take part in. Check out our Flickr gallery at http://www.flickr.com/photos/pademolay/

Thousands will say that Key Man was an experience of a lifetime for them during the past 27 years, and if you ask any of our campers at the end of this week, I am sure they will tell you hundreds of great stories about their Key Man Experience.